Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Fictional Characters who Appear in Multiple Mediums that I Have Thought About. Sexually.*

Comics, animated series, movies
Particularly Appealing to me: Animated and Hugh Jackman.
Rationale: Recent viewing of Australia oddly resurrected fantasies of Jackman as Wolverine, not Australia character, despite inordinate amount of screen time Baz Lurhmann gave Jackman’s happy trail.

Seeley Booth
Mediums: “Bones” TV show and novels
Particularly Appealing to me: TV
Rationale: Fun belt buckles, charming off-kilter smile, solves crimes and shit.

Captain Jack Sparrow
Mediums: This is sticky. Since Pirates of the Caribbean is a Disney movie and was therefore conceived from the get-go as a franchise to be licensed out to every medium in creation, it isn’t very organic that the character appears in multiple mediums. However, it’s Johnny Depp, so big whoop. How often can you rub one out to a Disney movie? If you aren’t a pervert.
Particularly Appealing to me: Movies. Likeness on child’s toothbrush not alluring.
Rationale: Johnny Depp in eyeliner, not taking self seriously.

Comics, TV, animated series, movies
Particularly Appealing to me: Movies, TV? (Please see below for further explanation, if you so chose. If not, I totally understand. You’ve been a really good sport so far.)
Rationale: Kilmer and Bale - check.
Clooney - pass (as Batman).
Keaton - way more intrigued by the Joker in that movie; too young at initial viewing to have truly actualized sexual fantasy.
West - Again, too young for fleshed-out sexual thoughts upon viewing, though do remember some altercation(s) between Batman and Catwoman(women) that involved sexual innuendos and made me feel kinda dirty. Pretended to be ignorant of sexual overtones as not to alarm / initiate awkward lecture from mother.

Snape / Sirius Black
Harry Potter books and movies
Particularly Appealing to me: Movies. Do not have the time / patience for the books, despite my cousin’s endorsement that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was the first book she ever finished. She was in high school at the time.
Rationale: Like me some
old Brit dudes.

* I spent a decent amount of time (decent being long enough for my foot to fall asleep under my ass) deciding whether “mediums” or “media” would be correct here. Please feel free to correct me, but a source would be appreciated for future reference.


  1. wonderful. really great. i'm going to say mediums but i can't back that up.
    You know what's crazy? I am NOT sexually attracted to batman, or bruce wayne for that matter despite spending the majority of my childhood and adult life reading/watching batman. he doesn't do it for me. no sense of humor. tony stark on the other hand, not that's an alcoholic i can get it up for.

    who are you?

  2. Booth has really cornered the market on fun belt buckles...and charm. Fun belt buckles and charm

  3. By the by, Blanket, I know exactly who this is, but I'm not sure if she'd like me to reveal her secret.

  4. i think i know too. does she have a green thumb?

  5. Ah Ha! it's YOU! i like you and i like your blog and i just told pat i hope you update often